Yesterday was the first day I could figure out how to describe that feeling. I always felt that anxiety was a feeling of uneasiness. A way you felt because you weren't sure what was going to happen next. When you're learning how to ride a bicycle without the training wheels for the first time... and your dad lets go of the seat for the first time. I couldn't figure out what was happening to my physically, though. The moments I can't breathe, the moments I feel like I'm going to throw up... What's happening to me? Is there a balloon in my tummy??
It explains how bloated I feel - how I can't eat - how my breaths are shorter... it's like this inflated, delicate, ball in there that's sensitive to pop. So you don't want it to - and you have to be very careful - but maybe it will and it'll hurt so you're trying your hardest not to pop it. But maybe if it pops, you'll feel a thousand times better. I'm convinced there's a balloon in my tummy.
